The case for belated birthday cards
Why I'm giving myself permission to "be late"
My birthday is March 1. It's just far enough out from New Years that all my resolutions have gone out the window, so I usually look at it as a bit of a reset—another chance to start exercising, eating healthy, and revisiting my goals.
A couple years ago I started sending birthday cards to everyone (well, to everyone that gave me their address). For about a year and a half I was on top of it. I have a giant Notion table with names, birthdays, and addresses; I have a whole system of reminders set up; I printed a ton of cards on my letterpress. But toward the middle of last year I started to slip. I found myself missing birthdays and forgetting to send cards. This year I haven't sent a single one. And it's bringing me down.
I'm bummed that I haven't been able to stick to a goal I set for myself—and I'm also bummed that friends and family members haven't been getting birthday cards from me in the mail. But I had a thought that let me flip the script on both of these things: If I make a resolution to start sending more belated birthday cards I can give myself permission to be a little (or a lot) late—and I can feel good about popping into people's mailboxes with a surprise that celebrates them when they're not expecting it.
On making fun stuff not fun
Sending birthday cards to everyone on my list right on time means I need to make a plan at the end of each month for when I need to get each card in the mailbox so it'll arrive on time. I need to write a note, address the envelope, and get to the mailbox in time, and I need to do this around 6–10 days each month. It's a lot to keep track of! And each time I miss a deadline it stings a little. It's not fun.
But this isn't just about birthday cards. Making fun stuff not fun by making it "just another thing I have to get done" is something I do a lot.
I've been unemployed for a little over a month now and I have filled most of that time with tasks and to-dos of my own making:
- Creating an online course
- Taking a creativity coaching training
- Doing The Artist's Way and all the tasks that go along with it
- Working on an animation
- Starting a newsletter and writing articles like this one
- Printing and sending birthday cards (we know I haven't gotten to this one 🫠)
- And the list goes on...
All this stuff is fun for me in its own right. But I'm realizing that adding it to a to-do list isn't working for me. I feel bad each time I move my self-imposed deadlines back and I'm feeling overwhelmed instead of just enjoying the journey.
Sending birthday cards was feeling like a chore so I'm taking it off my to-do list, along with a bunch of the stuff I listed above. For my birthday resolution reset, I'm giving myself permission to go with the flow and focus on the things I want to do because I want to do them—not because I feel like I have to do them.
Yesterday I went sledding in the yard because that seemed more fun and urgent than anything else on my to-do list. And then I wrote this article because I wanted to.
Belated? More like beGREATed!
I'm pretty excited at the prospect of rediscovering the joy of sending cards. And once I gave myself permission to "be late" I also started to think about why belated birthday cards might actually be better.
Better late than never
Of course, the nicest thing about a belated birthday card is that it's still a birthday card. It shows you care. And it shows you were thinking of them. Even if you're the kind of person that loses track of what day it is—or forgets to grab the card sitting on the counter for 3 days straight.
Keep the celebration going
Your birthday was a week ago (or a month ago—or 6 months ago) and you open your mailbox to a brightly colored envelope with your name on it. What's this? A birthday card? Sweet! It's the last thing you were expecting.
More opportunities for laughs
The best birthday card I ever made (IMHO) is a belated one. It says:
Why do they call it a belated birthday card?
'Cause it be late!
It makes me laugh. But I've barely sent any of them because I was so focused on sending birthday cards on time! I have some new ideas for belated birthday cards that I'd been putting off because I wasn't sure I'd have the opportunity to send them. Now I will! And I won't feel bad about it either.
If you want a card and you're not on my list yet, send me your address! And I'll send you a card... eventually. 😉
